The occasion was a celebration; a long awaited, hard-earned recognition of work, passion and determination. So then why was I dressed all in black? It was a graduation ceremony surrounded by peers and friends, yet in the photos I look more like I’m attending a funeral.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against wearing black. I know people who wear black with incredible ease to their style. I am just not one of them.

This graduation ceremony happened at a time of career restlessness coinciding with the start of my time in perimenopause.

Nothing was sitting well with me and so I reverted to dressing how I thought I ‘should’ dress for confidence and presence. That led me to black, despite it being a colour I avoided for years, knowing instinctively that it did not work as well for me as less stark neutrals like grey or navy.

What is interesting is that the more I tried to fit a mould not made for me, attempting to improve my confidence, the less confident I actually felt. Confidence is like that. You can try to ‘fake it until you make it’ for a while, but eventually it ends up being a downward spiral until one day you are looking at yourself in a baggy hoody and leggings and asking ‘is this really how I want to go out into the world every day?’.

Part of perimenopause is that feeling like everything is a bit different, or off. And in trying to ‘fix’ that it is quite easy to lose your way when it comes to personal style. Colours you connect with can be an anchor around which you can change the perimenopause narrative. We are not ‘losing ourselves’, our bodies are forcing us to strip away the parts of ourselves we no longer (and perhaps never did) need. This time is an opportunity to explore and embrace ourselves fully and authentically.

Here is how colour can help you grow in confidence and style during perimenopause.

Your Sense of Self Is Shifting

Hormone changes influence everything, including your tolerance for temperature, sleep, experience of sensation and texture, and definitely your relationship with your body and clothes.

With a fluctuating internal landscape, and the new found permission to start dressing for the real you, clothes that once felt like staples can feel like costumes from a previous life. Colours you used to love might feel too sharp or too dull, maybe too draining, or just not quite right.

Colours Feel Different

One of the most common things I hear from clients looking for style confidence in perimenopause is:

“I used to love this colour but it doesn’t seem right for me anymore.”

And they’re right.

Hormonal shifts can subtly change:

• your skin tone

• your contrast level

• your hair colour (natural or dyed)

• the way your face reflects light

This means colours that once harmonised with you may now feel overwhelming, flat, weird, or simply “off”. Colours you never considered before suddenly feel soothing, supportive, or surprisingly flattering.

Your Face, Skin Tone, and Hair May Shift

This is one of the most destabilising parts of perimenopause, and also the greatest opportunity for exploration, not because appearance is everything, but because recognition is. You want to look in the mirror and see yourself.

But when your skin looks different, your hair behaves differently, and your features feel softer or sharper than they used to, it can feel like you’re meeting a new version of yourself every morning. Colour can help bridge that gap and give you that steady base to build today’s look from.

Confidence Wobbles When Everything Else Is Changing

Perimenopause is a season of transition — physical, emotional, psychological. And transitions always shake confidence because they disrupt familiarity.

But here’s the good news:

Colour is one of the simplest, quickest, most accessible ways to rebuild confidence from the inside out.

Not by making you louder, or “braver”, but by giving you the start to be true to yourself and your own personal style.

Confidence Colours for All 16 Palettes

These aren’t necessarily the boldest colours in your palette, but they can be the shades that soothe your nervous system, support your features, and create a sense of inner steadiness. Listen to what a colour makes you feel and those that make you feel your best are your confidence colours. Colour analysis in perimenopause can really help you find those specific hues.

Not sure where to start? If you know your seasonal colour palette, these shades for the seasonal colour palettes can act as confidence anchors during perimenopause.

Springs

Warm aqua, soft coral, light gold, warm mint.

Summers

Soft aqua, cool pink, powder blue, lavender mist.

Autumns

Muted teal, rose brown, soft olive, golden beige.

Winters

Fuchsia, icy turquoise, sapphire, cool white.

How Colour Rebuilds Confidence

1. Emotional Feedback

Colour is a nervous system tool, listen to what a colour is telling you. The right ones might not make you feel much at all, and that’s great. Neutral is a welcome state among the perimenopause chaos! Even better are the colours that help you breathe a little lighter, drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, and allow you to move through the day with a sense of ease.

2. Recognition

When a colour harmonises with your features, you see you again, no matter how tired or frazzled that version of you is today.

3. Decision Ease

A palette reduces decision fatigue, allows you to stop second guessing your choices and to build a wardrobe full of items that support you.

4. Pleasure

Colour reconnects you to small joys and quick wins. It could be the texture of the soft pink scarf, the feel of that teal cardigan, the gold earrings that remind you of fun times. Pleasure can be hard to come by and is never frivolous.

5. Feeling Seen

Colour helps you show up in a way that feels authentic, grounded, and emotionally congruent.

The Confidence Ritual

A gentle, five step ritual for reconnecting with yourself.

Everyone does confidence differently, and what helps you feel your best won’t be the same as mine. When I am struggling to dress for my most confident self this is the process I use:

1. Choose a Colour That speaks to You Today

Sometimes this a favourite colour, other times not. Sometimes I know why it is speaking to me, other times I work it out later. Don’t overthink it, start somewhere and build from there.

2. Pair It With a Grounding Neutral

Balance is everything. Think soft navy, warm charcoal, gentle beige, cool grey. Your palette will have plenty of neutrals that should pair beautifully with your more colourful pieces.

3. Add a Sensory Anchor

Jewellery that feels cool against your skin. A scarf that feels soft on your neck. A cardigan that feels like a hug. Any item that feels good.

4. Keep It Simple

Confidence doesn’t require complexity, add as much to your outfit as you need to feel good and then allow yourself to stop there. You don’t have to overcomplicate an outfit to look good.

5. Name What You See

Look at your outfit and name what you see – positives only please, there is no place for shame here! Naming helps your brain register that you are dressing intentionally today.

And most important of all – never shy away from dressing for exactly the person you are today, you are incredible and deserve to feel your best. If that means throwing out any (or all) of the ‘style rules’ then do it!